Factoids for a coffee addict.

Everyone I know knows about my shameful coffee addiction. Wherever I show up I'm clutching a 20-32oz cup, usually from McDonald's (don't you dare criticize - it's relatively strong coffee that tastes like coffee instead of maple nut crunch with blueberry notes and it's cheap), and hiding behind it. My iced coffee cups became something of a joke in my morning classes in college. I recently ran into a friend from elementary school whom I hadn't seen for a while; he asked what I was drinking and when I said coffee he responded: "Of course - you were the only 5th grader in the district who had to start her day with a cup of joe." My first job was at a coffee shop. My favorite job was at a coffee shop. I kind of have a thing for coffee.

Here is my Twitter user photo. I took this picture of a latte I made at a 2-day espresso training class with the 2008 US Champion Barista before she went on to get 2nd place in the Barista World Championship. The fact that I even know these sorts of things exist makes me a bigger geek about coffee than 60% of the west coast and 99% of the world.

When I recently found a list of which countries consume the most coffee per person, I had to see where I stand. Norway comes in at number one, with the average Norwegian using 23.6 pounds of coffee per year, or about a one pound bag every other week. The lowest country included was Ireland at 17th place, with each person using only a meager pound and a half of coffee a year (though they do drink the most beer). The US came in 12th, drinking 6.6 pounds worth of coffee each year (about 1/10th pound per week) though we were FAR AND AWAY bigger fans of soda, drinking 216 liters of soft drinks apiece each year.

Using my coffee shop experience as a baseline, I assumed 13g of ground coffee per 8oz of water to brew a pot of coffee. On average I drink 40oz of coffee per day which comes to 65g of ground coffee. Multiplied by 365 days, this gives me 23.725kg (or about 52 pounds) of ground coffee per year. I have to admit that I was a little startled to discover that I am consuming about a third of my weight in coffee annually.

So then I started thinking about fluid volume; if I consume 52 pounds of coffee, how many gallons do I drink? And what does that look like. Again using my 40oz a day as a baseline, my fluid coffee consumption comes out to about 114 gallons of coffee per year, or as much coffee as there is water in this fish tank (about 15 cubic feet):

The coffee I drink each year could support a tropical fish ecosystem,

 if it didn't kill them all first. Photo from RateMyFishtank.com

When I got over the fact that I could easily drown in the coffee I drink, I started to think about how much caffeine there is in all of that coffee. At 135mg per cup of coffee I consume about 8.7 ounces of straight caffeine annually, or enough to kill me 25 times over if I swallowed it all at once.

The cost of maintaining this coffee addiction is also a little overwhelming, coming to about $480 a year in coffee (minus shipping, filters, and cost of prep time) if I make it at home, or just over $1500 to go out and buy coffee at McDonald's (or about $1640 if I were to go to Starbucks, but I think their coffee tastes like boiled grapefruit rinds with smoke flavoring and tar so I don't go to Starbucks). In fact it's only about $300 less per year than a pack-a-day smoking habit (at least based on cigarette and coffee prices in SoCal).

So coffee is expensive and if you drink enough if it it will straight up kill you - why does anyone drink it? Well, apart from the fact that it is delicious, it's pretty addictive. I've tried to quit coffee before and oh man, the headaches were not worth it.

Besides that, I think that everyone should allow themselves some vices. Since I can no longer drink soda, eat cookies, or drink most of the fun alcohols in the world, I'll stick with my coffee. Something kills every one of us, coffee probably won't be it for me. And I'd rather have a daily coffee habit than spend all that money on clothes that will go out of style, or shoes that will hurt my feet - but maybe I'll cut back for a few months; my Jeep could use a new transmission.

Stay safe and stay hyper,
Cheers
     - Alli